Fair & Just Questionnaire: Attorney Jack Beam, Of Counsel

jackSince 1983 Jack Beam, a former Assistant U.S. Attorney, along with his partner “Doctor” Doug Raymond, have represented children in more than 20 states who are victims of cerebral palsy and birth injuries caused by hospital and doctor negligence during labor and delivery. Beam first teamed with Fieger on a case in Washington, Penn.

“Geoffrey’s $31 million jury verdict, including interest, is the largest recovery in a medical malpractice case in Pennsylvania,” Beam said.

In 2004, Beam was named “Of Counsel” to Fieger Law. Here, he muses about his writings, unctuous Italian landlords and the sanctity of sperm.

What is your favorite color?

Maizenblue.

What is your favorite restaurant?

HB on N. Halsted in Chicago.

Who is your favorite Detroit celebrity?

Geoffrey Nels Fieger.

Where is your favorite place to be?

Ann Arbor conjuring up those halcyon college days.

What is your idea of perfect happiness?

Dinner with Renee, Bjorn & Bianca.

Which historical figure do you most identify with?

Thomas Paine.

What is your favorite song?

“Every Sperm is Sacred” from Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life is my YouTube favorite.

Which living person do you most admire?

The moms (and a very few dads) who care for our cerebral palsy clients 24/7.

Which trait in yourself do you most deplore?

Environmental hypocrisy.

What trait do you most deplore in others?

Religious hypocrisy.

What’s your greatest extravagance?

International travel.

What is your favorite journey?

Photo safari “with” the lions of the Kenyan Masai Mara.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?

Piety.

On what occasion do you lie?

Only once to my unctuous landlord in Italy, because you don’t want to litigate in Berlusconi’s country.

Which living person do you most dislike?

Dick “Haliburton” Cheney. What we spend in just four months on Cheney’s bloody war in Iraq is more than the total cost of the GM bailout.

What is your greatest regret?

My mom never got to see any of her grandchildren.

When & where were you the happiest?

At the Denver Christmas Party Dec. 9, 1982 when I first saw my wife Renee.

Which talent would you most like to have?

To play piano.

What is your current state of mind?

Optimism v. Mortality.

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

My lack of fluency in a foreign language.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?

My latest book, The God Awful Truth About Heaven.

What is your most treasured possession?

Our Glen Lake house.

Where would you most like to live?

Florence or London.

What is your most marked characteristic?

Intolerance about intolerance.

What do you most value in your friends?

Humour.

Who are your favorite writers?

Will Durant, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Mark Twain, Charles Dickens & Carl Hiaasen.

Who is your favorite hero of fiction:

Jesus.

Who is your hero in real life:

Nine letter winner at WMU; Director of Phys. Ed., Battle Creek Public Schools; U of M School of Public Health grad; Lt. Cmdr. U.S.N. WWII; Big Ten football official; physical therapist to polio victims and my dad, Nick Beam.

How would you like to die?

Without Alzheimer’s.

If you were a speech part, what would you be?

An Italian verb.

If you were a car, what kind would you be?

The kind that ex-GM CEO’s could and should have produced.

If you were food, what kind would you be?

Pasta.

If you were an animal, what kind would you be?

My mutt-dog Repo.

If you were fine art, what form would you take?

Cinema—preferably one of my screenplays set in Michigan. (Will someone please call Jeff Daniels!)

What’s your motto?

“The only sin is ignorance.” — Christopher Marlowe

What’s your favorite quote about the law?

“If there were no bad people, there would be no good lawyers.” — Charles Dickens

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